One highly important source are any documents, including reports, evaluations, notices, or assessments, that speak to the persons social, emotional, language, and physical growth. I have had many cases where I was able to conclude with confidence whether the person had Aspergers without seeing one single piece of written evidence about that persons past. The first meeting covers general facts about the person, particular those relating to his or her present life. There is test yet developed that can be used to make a diagnosis of Aspergers, no instrument that measures Aspergers nor any procedure that can objectively sort out those with Aspergers from those without it. Superficial social contact, niceties, passing time with others are of little interest. This book specifically addresses the touchy issues of sex, rage, divorce and shame and gives a glimpse of the "inner workings" of these relationships. This is an excellent overview for both the clinical reader and for parents. Cassandra syndrome (married to someone with aspergers and *really* struggling)15. Hnault, I. Some people receive a diagnosis of Aspergers with discouragement and disapproval, believing they necessarily will be severely limited in how they can lead their lives. Those signs and symptoms are often subtle and it takes someone with considerable experience to tell whether they are present and, if so, whether there is enough of a case to say confidently that the person has Aspergers. Cassandra Syndrome is what a woman experiences after years of being married to a man with Asperger's. Women I see are desperate to feel a connection of some type within their marriages. Difficulty interpreting non-verbal communication and subtle aspects of how people relate to each other is characteristic of adults with Aspergers. On the other hand, in combination with other signs of Aspergers, not noticing how people respond in conversations, could be a significant confirmation of an Aspergers diagnosis. School reports might indicate past social and emotional difficulties, along with academic tendencies, that could be relevant to any indications of Aspergers syndrome. We work with what we have, and a diagnosis, either way, doesnt depend upon any one piece of the assessment process. I have had many cases where I was able to conclude with confidence whether the person had Aspergers without seeing one single piece of written evidence about that persons past. Instead, they blame victims of their aggression, irresponsibility and exploitation. They find it hard to interpret the meanings of facial expressions and body posture, and they have particular difficulty understanding how people express their emotions. Along with these thoughts are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in order to reduce stress or to prevent something bad from happening. They dont conform to social norms with respect to lawful behavior, such as destroying property, stealing, harassing others, and cheating. Adjusting ones expectations is crucial to the viability of the marriage. Your email address will not be published. Living with an Aspergers Spouse. It is pointless to blame the other person. Here is a description of the psychiatric conditions most frequently associated with Aspergers: People with ADHD typically have difficulty paying attention to whats going on around them, they are easily distracted, they tend to do things without thinking about the results, they are often forgetful, have trouble finishing what they intended to do, are disorganized, jump from one activity to another, are restless and have poor social skills. Just as often other people, in researching Aspergers symptoms, believe the person coming to see me has those very characteristics and therefore must have Aspergers. . People with ADHD often try to do multiple activities at the same time. Individuals with Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) disregard and violate the rights of others. Do you have Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) or know someone who does? It advocates for discrimination against autistic people in custody cases, and its members seem to believe that autistic people should not be allowed to have families at all. Many of these symptoms overlap with those of Aspergers. "Someone with Asperger's syndrome may actually perceive expressions of affection as aversive experiences, and a hug as an uncomfortable squeeze that restricts movement, and they can become. Required fields are marked *. When everything has been addressed to the extent allowed in this timeframe, the final part of the clinical interview is the presentation of my findings. There are multiple topic areas, including in depth discussions for adults with Aspergers, dating, and social skills, but one thread I particularly appreciate is what's called the AS-NT Open Hotline. The Cassandra Phenomenon In the early 2000's, the term Cassandra Phenomenon, sometimes referred to as the Cassandra syndrome, was coined to describe a group of symptoms that often occur in individuals who live with or know adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Completing one or more of these questionnaires can identify abilities, inclinations and behavior that could be indicative of Aspergers syndrome. The difference is that people with Aspergers do not view these behaviors are unwelcomed. There is a similar difference with respect to impulsivity. Available doctors, insurances and verified patient reviews for Cassandra Richards, LMFT. (Willey 2001. p. 164), Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults, Therapy for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Blog, News & Videos, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder and Relationships, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Psychologist, Assessment of Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder, All Articles About Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, All Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Resources, How People With Autism Spectrum Disorder Think Part II, Four Essential Ingredients For A Successful Autism Spectrum Disorder Relationship, Outer Frames: Women, Autism and Sensitivity. I will be patient with those who need time to understand me. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. The problem with this is that several other conditions share many of the same symptoms with Aspergers. Persistent difficulty in communicating with, and relating to, other people. Why go through with it if there is no good reason to assume there might be some likelihood of finding the behaviors and signs of Aspergers? For the NT, shift your focus from what you are not getting from your AS partner to see and value the strengths he or she brings to the relationship. For example, someone with Aspergers can be quite intelligent and have mastery over numerous facts, yet have much less comprehension emotions and how they are expressed. Nevertheless, attitudes like this can arise when a diagnosis of Aspergers is made public. One in two-hundred and fifty people has Asperger's Syndrome. Here is what you need to know when living with Aspergers spouse- When they are down, they feel sad, empty, hopeless, worthless and inappropriately guilty. Additionally, when the information used to make a diagnosis comes from multiple sources, like family history, an experts observations, school, medical and other reports, questionnaires and standardized test instruments the diagnosis is likely to be more accurate and reliable. They dont conform to social norms with respect to lawful behavior, such as destroying property, stealing, harassing others, and cheating. If, on the other hand, the person engages in limited back-and-forth communication, attempts to make friends in odd and typically unsuccessful ways, and is not especially interested in reaching out to others, a diagnosis of Aspergers could be considered but not assured. Symptoms may be physical illnesses, stress-related health problems, depression, fear, loss of self-esteem, doubt of own reality, loneliness, fatigue . ed. An example is previous medical reports documenting signs of early language delays and/or peculiarities, coordination problems, behavioral difficulties or unusual physical problems. At one point, they will have extreme energy, be unusually happy, energetic, talkative, feel wonderful about themselves and on top of the world, have little need for sleep, be drawn to unimportant or irrelevant activities, and generally act unlike themselves. I want to find out about the persons significant relationships, whether they are friends, work colleagues, spouse or partner, children or anyone else with whom the person interacts regularly. Disclosing Your Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis: Important Considerations. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. Required fields are marked *. They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another. PostedJune 8, 2010 Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development. Some change may be possible, but the NT partner may need to adjust his/her expectation, and find other places for support without being unrealistic about what they expect from their AS partner. I am a clinical psychologist in San Francisco with 30 years of experience evaluating and treating adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). As one person stated: There must be something wrong with me to want more and think I could have it. Some people spend hours washing themselves or cleaning their surroundings in order to reduce their fear that germs, dirt or chemicals will infect them. Brain imaging and studies of the brain structure show similarities between the two disorders. The phrase, He wears his heart on his sleeve, does not make sense to me. Individuals with Aspergers are rarely deceitful, in fact, they are often considered excessively, even naively honest, quite unlike those with APD who are predictably deceitful and unremorseful, and unlike people with Aspergers they are incapable of feeling genuine love. An individual with AS has challenges understanding or predicting the consequences of his/her behavior on others. There may appear to be some overlap between Aspergers and APD, but the resemblance is superficial. Asperger's syndrome is a complex developmental disorder in which the normal (NT) spouse's situation is difficult to grasp for others. In other words, you . I am interested in how the person gets along at work and his or her work performance, how the person manages daily living, what initiative the person takes in planning and achieving life goals, and how satisfied the person is with his or her life. Recent statistics from the Centers for Disease. Only we make ourselves unhappy and miserable. Do Men With Autism Spectrum Disorder Want Intimacy? Aspergers (also referred to as high-functioning autism or ASD level 1) is a subtle, almost paradoxical, disorder that seems to adversely affect men slightly more than women. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? Cassandra Syndrome Many of these women have been purported to suffer from "Cassandra Syndrome," a term coined by psychologist Tony Atwood to refer to women who suspect their partners have Asperger's syndrome, but are disbelieved, thus suffering immense psychological and emotional distress in their search for help. It is one of the most humiliating responses for NT-spouses, when they are not taken seriously by others. A person is diagnosed based on the signs and symptoms he or she has rather than the results of a specific laboratory or other type of test. Can they have intimate relationships & be successful parents? What are the advantages & disadvantages of a diagnosis? First, I explain that certain characteristics are central to Aspergers syndrome. In addition, whereas Aspergers occurs early in the persons life, OCD develops later in life. Join our newsletter for the latest articles, news, videos & resource updates. (Willey 2001. p. 164), Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults, Therapy for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Blog, News & Videos, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder and Relationships, Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Psychologist, Assessment of Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder, All Articles About Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, All Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Resources. Pretend that you are learning a new language from a new country. Common symptoms of Asperger's that may impact social interaction or communication include: Problems making or maintaining friendships Isolation or minimal interaction in social situations Poor. These are common feelings in couples where one or both spouses have Autism Spectrum Disorder. Genetic studies suggest the two disorders share genetic risk factors, and studies of the incidence and distribution of both conditions confirm that many people with Aspergers have symptoms of ADHD and vice versa. Diagnosing Aspergers is a fairly easy process in principle. Belittling your accomplishments 4. Reading about Aspergers in a book or articles generally makes it seem that Aspergers is a clear cut, well defined and easily identifiable condition. Without this ability, it is difficult to recognize and meet the emotional needs of a spouse. In many AS marriages the NT partner may be a super nurture, manager, and organizer, who entered the relationship motivated by a desire to help and nurture the partner with AS. The Empathizing-Systemizing Theory of Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder. Business, Economics, and Finance. People simply dont comprehend the turmoil involved in living with Autism Spectrum Disorder symptoms. They are hyper-focused rather than unfocused. Additionally, when the information used to make a diagnosis comes from multiple sources, like family history, an experts observations, school, medical and other reports, questionnaires and standardized test instruments the diagnosis is likely to be more accurate and reliable. If, for example, the core characteristics of Aspergers lead a person to speak in few sentences, interact with people only around very narrow, special interests and communicate in odd, nonverbal ways, we can say that these are indicators that a diagnosis of Aspergers is correct. According to widely-quoted statistics, somewhere between 1 in a 100 and 1 in a 250 people have Asperger's Syndrome. I want to find out about the persons significant relationships, whether they are friends, work colleagues, spouse or partner, children or anyone else with whom the person interacts regularly. (Willey 2001. p. 164). I'm really struggling with my marriage at the moment (if you look at my other posts you'll realise why). Stigmatizing and disapproval, based on the knowledge that a person has Aspergers is still prevalent in our society. It helps when that evidence is available but it is not critical. Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over 25. There has to be reduced sharing of interests and a lack of emotional give-and-take. Whether it is one spouse or both who have Autism Spectrum Disorder, is it crucial to accept as legitimate the concerns expressed by the other spouse. Their lives seem directionless and they appear to drift along in life. I also recommend reading Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? The reason is simple. their father, mother, or a. Have You Met My Seven Asperger's Teachers? Individuals with Aspergers have trouble understanding how people operate but they do respect others, whereas people with APD have no regard for people. It's so beautiful, so wonderful, it takes your breath away. The only way to tell is to be around someone long enough to experience what they are like, to see how they respond in situations that test the features of Aspergers and ask the right kinds of questions to clarify whether they have those features. They have little interest in their usual activities, have little appetite, sleep more than usual, are slowed down, have difficulty concentrating and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. These usually arent temporary, unfortunately, but they can change with proper care and attention. They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another. The second meeting focuses on the persons background, particularly information about the persons early family life; previous school experiences; past friendships, employment and intimate relationships; childhood emotional development and functioning, and significant interests throughout the persons life. Hes unable to make obvious inferences in a conversation, instead insisting that others are not being clear. a result of 30 or below indicates the possible absence of Asperger's. 81% of people previously designated Asperger syndrome score 30 or lower. The core features of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are frequent and persistent thoughts, impulses or images that are experienced as unwelcomed and uninvited. For the purposes of this article, I am going to cover the subject of Aspie-NT (one adult with Asperger's and one adult who is Neurotypical). AS adults often may have a very difficult time hearing negative emotions expressed by their partner. Home Narcissism Am I a Narcissist? Other professionals may take different steps but I have a clear-cut procedure that I go through when asked to assess Aspergers. They may be overly sensitive to one kind of sensation and avoid that persistently. Finding common ground is a key to success. Cassandra and the Aspie: Marriage and Asperger's Syndrome. The public and professionals are becoming more aware of the impact of Aspergers on families. They have few friends, date infrequently if at all, and often have trouble in work settings where involvement with other people is necessary. People with Aspergers think through their actions more carefully. Gleaned from my years of working with ASD couples, here are the essential steps to make that success a reality. Specialties: Stress, Anxiety, Addictions, Self esteem, Career difficulties, Compassion fatigue, Relationship issues, Family conflicts, Trauma and abuse, Grief, Intimacy-related issues, Eating disorders, Sleeping disorders, Anger management, Bipolar disorder, Depression, Coping with life changes, ADHD I am a Licensed Clinical Therapist in Florida with over 5 years of experience working as a . Others repeat behaviors or say names or phrases over and over hoping to guard against some unknown harm.